I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
