Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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