No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
