Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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