You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
