Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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