If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Why is your signature on my underwear?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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