drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
