listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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