he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
