i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
