if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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