I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
