Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
