I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I will be naked everywhere
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
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