It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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