Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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