five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize