i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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