the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
