I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
