The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
