Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
