Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
