you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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