Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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