Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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