Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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