I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
