would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My vagina is officially offended.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
