Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
