how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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