What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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