You really coming over, don't trick.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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