FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
