First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
