Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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