I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize