so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
why is half of my head shaved?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
