I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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