I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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