guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
