She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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