I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
