...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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