the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
sex in a hospital.. check
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
