you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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