I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
