I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize