I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize