i just wanna soil my oats bro
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize