She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
