you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
