when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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