I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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