My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
