woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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