I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You can't just leave with hair like that
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
