Pappa wants mamma naked
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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